You Could Say, A Skin Problem?
Written by Hunter
(Our story begins a dark and stormy night. Actually, it's a pretty nice day in summer, but you can't really see this when you're underground.)
Keroro: Good day to you all. Now, let's begin the meeting. Kururu?
Kururu: Ku-ku ... I fulfilled your request, Sergeant. Not that it was a big deal for me, though.
Giroro: *slams his fist on his desk* Get to the point! What is that oh-so-marvellous yet dysfunctional wonder you built?
Keroro: This "wonder", as you say, will ease our way to the invasion of Earth. I present you ... the Plan-Maker Mk66!
Tamama: Awesome, Sergeant-san! ... But what is it good for?
Kururu: It's an artificial mind that will calculate the best strategy for invasion, while keeping a minimal cost. And did I mention it runs on renewable energy?
Dororo: Wonderful, Sergeant!
Keroro: *blinks* Oh. You were here, Dororo?
Dororo: From the beginning! *breaks up in tears*
Giroro: Peh. You'll let this machine handle all your thinking while you build more and more models, aren't you?
Keroro: A-absolutely not! (How did he see through this?)
(At the same time, in Skull Castle...)
Riff: Okay. What's that?
Warpman: An instant-battle-goods generator.
Karasū: According to our calculations, it will be able to replicate any kind of ammunition or battery in a matter of seconds. We shall never run out of firepower in the heat of fire, sir!
Staccato: A wonderful device. And its role allows it to enhance defense or attack. Fantastique!
Lento: Size is an issue.
(You may admit it's hard to carry something as large as a dishwasher on the battlefield.)
Warpman: It's only in the tests, you big log! Miniaturization will come later on, of course.
Riff: *nodding* Sounds good to me.
(And then, simultaneity!)
Riff & Keroro: Let's test it, then!
Karasū & Kururu: Right away, sir! *push a button*
Warpman & Giroro: (You dumb, green, good-for-nothing guy...)
Tamama & Staccato: Ooooooh!
Lento & Dororo: *look up* What's happening?
Karasū & Kururu: Uh-oh.
Everyone, but Karasū & Kururu: It's gonna blow!
Both machines: *explode*
(Lesson of the day: don't test your devices of doom simultaneously, evildoers! But ... seems like something fishy happened...)
"Riff": Uugh ... My head ...Everyone alright?
"Warpman": Could be. If I felt my skin, at least.
"Riff": I see little icons here and there. *looks to his arms* WHY DO I HAVE A GATLING FOR A HAND!?
"Warpman": *looks at his arm, and gets more and more confused* Don't these shapes remind you of anything?
"Staccato": I do! It's the meanies that destroyed Sergeant-san's Gundams!
"Karasū": Ku-kuku ... Looks like we body-swapped.
"Lento": It's just like that time ... we were to disguise as a Transformer, and ... Keroro was supposed to be the head, and he went away for candy ... and I'm still stuck at the big guy who can't move! *tears up*
"Riff": Jeez. Any way to stop this, Kururu?
"Karasū": I see nothing right now.
"Warpman": This can wait! Our bodies are weapons of mass destruction now! We can invade Earth right now!
"Riff": Tut-tut. I did some research on these "Fatal Five", you know. They apparently work for Wily, who's the closest to control Earth. So we serve under him, playing as his henchmen, and when the time comes ... BAM! we double-cross him!
"Staccato": That's my Sergeant-san! Always having a plan up his sleeve!
"Warpman": I suppose it would work. And we could try and hire agents in Wily's ranks!
"Riff": Not so fast! We have to stick for our roles for a while before being revealed. Can I count on your discretion?
"Riff": Perfect, then! Keroro Platoon, dismiss! *once everyone is gone* Sounds like this Wily has loads of money. Which means ... more Gundams for me! *happily walks away*
(And what happened at Keroro's base, by the way?)
"Keroro": My head ... Why can't I reboot the systems?
"Giroro": Probably because you're a damn organic now.
"Keroro": What? *looks at his hands* That's no good.
"Kururu": Somehow, we got inverted with these pesky frogs.
"Tamama": Would it mean they're wrecking havoc in our very base this moment?
"Dororo": Unit fears for safety of body.
"Keroro": Let's all calm down, okay? We must find someone to help us getting our bodies back.
"Kururu": Who are you suggesting, sir?
"Keroro": ... The Mercs.
"Giroro": Great. Let's train being organics for the rest of our lives instead.
(Let's see how is it going at these potential heroes' place, then.)
Kayorei: Okay. So, you enter the dungeon and get into a dark room.
Iga: I prepare a prayer against undeads.
Hunter: I prepare my daggers and my crossbow.
Magnus: I cast a fireball.
Kayorei: You see nothing. It's dark, remember?
Magnus: Who cares? If there's stuff in here, it'll get burnt to death.
Kayorei: *sighs* Roll the dice, then.
Shinobu: Wait. What if there are innocents in there?
Magnus: They didn't have to be there.
Falling star: You always get all the experience, Magnus. Leave some to the fighters.
Naoshi: We're a group, remember?
Magnus: Not my fault if you took warrior and paladin. So, fireball?
Crew Joe: Excuse me, but someone is wishing to contact you for a request.
Kayorei: (Thank God.) Who is it?
Crew Joe: Sergeant Keroro, I believe.
Hunter: Ah, the Gundam frog. Let's see how he's doing, okay?
(And such ended the shortest game of Dungeons & Dragons ever. Try to guess what class had each Merc.)
"Keroro" (on-screen): Hunter. We need to go aboard the Marauder.
Naoshi: Wait, how did you learn of these names?
Hunter: They're well-informed, I'd say. So, still trying to invade, eh?
"Keroro": Er ... Y-yes, of course! We ... we thought ...
"Giroro": Get to the point, loser! We want to use your battleship to blow stuff up! Got it?
Hunter: ... O ... okay. Here are the coordinates, then.
"Giroro": *shuts the comm. off*
Kayorei: There's something wrong with them.
Magnus: They're talking frogs. Isn't that enough?
Naoshi: Says the noseless guy.
Kayorei: No, just like they don't act their regular ways. I could be wrong, though.
Falling star: As long as they pay up, I wouldn't care if they ran around with underwear on their heads.
Shinobu: That's an ... interesting sight of things.
(The whole Team then went to the teleporters in order to greet their requesters.)
"Keroro" (after teleporting in): Let's get this straight. We're actually the Fatal Five, and need your help to recover our true bodies.
Naoshi: Riiiight. Someone's been licking toads.
The "Platoon": *glares at Naoshi*
Shinobu: I do say, that's some interesting role-playing. Sounds just like Riff.
"Keroro": That's because I AM RIFF, you pacifist bolt-head!
"Giroro": Want something to convince you? Okay! *points at Magnus* When we captured you, I tortured you with The Sound Of Music!
"Kururu": *points at Hunter* And you, my friend, are the very cause behind our lives.
"Dororo": Unit Magnus hacked database for us before Unit Stardust left.
Hunter: Quite convincing. I mean, that's stuff only the Five would know.
Kayorei *nods*: Yup. But how did you get in this mess, anyway?
"Tamama": An unfortunate turn of fate, milady.
"Keroro": And we have more pressing issues at hand! Who knows what these frogs could do in the Castle?
(Indeed, back at the Castle...)
Woodman: Y'know, Cyros, I believe some strange things are happening.
Flashman: Such as?
Woodman: I think the sight of Lento acting as a ninja was an obvious hint.
"Lento": *running from door to door, occasionally throwing smokebombs*
Flashman: *nods* That's quite unusual.
Woodman: Do you think it is Opposite Day now?
Metalman *with a beanie hat and a cardboard book*: Is it? *puts on a monocle, smokes a pipe and reads the Capital* My word, chaps, this here event is quite uncommon.
Airman: *rolls his eyes and whacks Metalman with a stick*
Metalman: Ouchies! Er, I say, ow!
"Karasū": Kuu-kukuku! Does your friend need some ... medication? *pulls out a drill*
Airman: Eh, why not. *throws Metalman at Karasū*
Flashman: ... Nope. I think it's just an usual day at Skull Castle.
Woodman: Ah. Alright, then. *picks up a book*
(Quite problematic, indeed. I believe our other heroes have moved closer to the Castle... its back, more precisely.)
Naoshi: I'm surprised we never got to hear of this back door.
"Keroro": It's been added just after you left. Now to type in the code...
(At this point, remember the frogs are barely 3 feet tall.)
"Keroro": Damn Wily and his lack of short minions!
Hunter: *grabs Keroro and lifts him to the digicode* Any better?
"Tamama": We shall get thou for this humiliation, felon!
"Kururu": Not yet, companion. We're in no fitting condition to fight back.
(In the Castle...)
"Giroro": Now, how to catch those body-snatchers?
"Riff" *running around with his hands full of boxes*: Yay! Gundam!
Iga: Well, that's easy. *throws his staff in Riff's legs, causing him to trip*
"Keroro": Hey, careful with that! It's still my body, y'know.
Shinobu: We got one. There are still four running around.
Hunter: I do have an idea ... *everyone rounds up as he mutters*
Falling Star: Yup, could work.
"Giroro": I could have found it alone.
Iga: Shall we start working on it, then?
"Giroro": Whenever you want, monkey-face.
Magnus: *to the remaining people* Back off. We're scientists.
(Carefully, with an extreme care on not damaging Riff's body, the three techies used his comm. system to call on each Fatalist - and trap them in a similar way.)
"Giroro": Hmmm ... I never knew how gorgeous my body was.
"Dororo": Body is misshapen, head is generic and arm seems made from junk. End of line.
"Giroro": Way to give support, bulk-head.
Shinobu: So, how will we operate the transfer?
"Keroro": It has to be done in our room. Just follow us.
Kayorei: Don't you think we'll be spotted?
"Keroro": They didn't see a ninja Lento. They wouldn't spot a Mad Grinder race.
(Still, out of safety, the Mercs disguised through the patented way of "calling grunts, decaptiation, and using their heads as helmets". Seven Joes down.)
Hunter: *removing his Joe helmet* Nice place you have here.
Kayorei: Could go with a bit more colours, though.
"Dororo": Decoration later. Body now.
Iga: *murmuring to Magnus and Giroro*
Magnus: *nods* We're gonna need lengths of wire, two boxes of paperclips and some bread.
Falling star: Yeah. As if we always carried this with us.
Naoshi: And we're not the best ones to go through Wily's stuff.
Hunter: Hold on. *rummages through his pockets, an finds everything Magnus requested* Fresh from breakfast.
Magnus: Thankies. *munches on the bread and grabs the other stuff*
Everyone but Magnus and Hunter: O_O
"Keroro": How can you carry this and still walk around?
Hunter: I'm used to.
Naoshi: And WHY do you carry this?
Hunter: Always useful. Just saw?
Naoshi: ... Yeah.
(After a few minutes of Mac-Gyvering...)
Magnus: Awright. This machine will transfer everyone's mind back. Any questions?
Shinobu: I ...
Iga: Gotta go fast! *activates the device*
(Many zaps and shrieks of pain later...)
Riff: Feels good to have a metal body again.
Hunter: *grabs a frog* Oh well, gotta go.
Warpman: Now you just wait! *aims at Hunter* We can't let that chance go!
Naoshi: But you'll have to, Warp-freak. Our price was "let us go peacefully".
Riff: You can't make us pay! We're ...kinda friends, right?
Kayorei: Business' business, guys. Sorry again.
Hunter: We'll get these frogs back home. See ya! *runs away followed by the Mercs*
Warpman: LOUSY NEMESES!
Riff: Oh well, I hope these frogs made no problem here.
Metalman: *walks out of Karasū's room ; is now a metallic spider-thingy* Hi guys!
Karasū: *jumps away and shrieks like a little girl*
Wily: *barging in* You guys emptied all the accounts for models, I know it!
Riff: What?! We ... we didn't!
Wily: I have proof. *hands out a video tape* Security.
Warpman: No problem, eh?
Wily: *walks out* Get them.
Everyone from Skull Castle: *glares evilly at the Five*
(The moral? Don't let frogs hijack your body, or your house will get full of Gundam.)