Tale Of The Raven

Written by Hunter

(The story starts with our favorite friends... no, the other guys ... anyways, they're all in their common room and look like they got badly beaten.)

Riff: Last training session didn't go well.

Lento: Correction: failure is more appropriate.

Warpman: As if going together against a Mad Grinder would end fine.

Staccato: I do not remember seeing thou taking an active part in the fight, coward.

Warpman (stands up): Repeat that, you medieval piece of junk!

Riff: I must admit, he has a point.

Warpman: And no comment, loser leader!

Lento: Insulting Riff means "I want my face punched". Prepare for punching.

?: Stop! All of you!

(The Fatalists turn to see who just spoke. It was their remaining member, Karasû, who currently looks angered.)

Karasû: Do you really think we can take on the Mercs if we disagree like this?

The Fatalists: *saying nothing*

Karasû: Ever since our last attempt to attack them, you've been bickering all the time! I'll tell you what: if you want to carry on like this, I might as well leave to train on my own.

Warpman: You say that like your powers were useful.

Karasû (his face reddening): WHAT?!

Warpman: Come on. Smokebombs, floating, sparks ... What will it be the next time, pennies from your ears?

Karasû: I will leave now, and train harder than the lot of you combined. And when I get back, I hope for you that you have a good plan.

(The raven master rushes in the room to gather his affairs: some E-Tanks, his staff, scrolls and his conical straw hat.)

Karasû: Or else, there may be a change of leadership... *runs away*

Warpman: *in a small voice* I say we get started, friends.

Riff: *in a small voice* As you say.

(The scene shifts to a lost monastery in deep Himalaya. An old man is waiting at the door, when a dark shape comes from the sky. It lands in front him, revealing itself to be a raven-like humanoid, apparently not impressing the elder monk.)

Monk: I knew you would come, Karasû.

Karasû (confused): How do you know my name?

Monk: Anything is possible, for he who masters the ancient arts. I will not be wrong to say you want to learn them?

Karasû: Exactly! I need them to defeat our mortal enemies!

Monk: "Mortal"? This is not what I saw. But I will not question you further, and start your training. Follow me.

(They enter the monastery, and head to a bright room, where a large roll of paper is set on the floor.)

Monk: This will be your first task, Grasshopper. Walk on this paper, and leave no footprints.

Karasû: Heh. Easier than ABC.

(The raven-bot does as he's asked, and effectively leaves no footprints.)

Monk: You are good, Grasshopper. But try again without levitating this time.

Karasû: Damn. ... Could you call me something else than Grasshopper, by the way?

Monk: It's either this or "Fluffy Bunny".

Karasû (sighs): Let's keep Grasshopper, then.

(Back to the Fatal Five's room. Each of them is in front of a desk.)

Riff: We'll start our plan by a small brainstorming. Write out whatever idea comes to your mind, and we'll see what we can do with it.

Staccato: I will do my best to help mylord Riff!

Warpman: Meh.

(After half an hour, the three of them throw their pens away out of frustration. Nothing good came. Though, Lento is still drawing.)

Warpman: Care to show us your doodles, Slow-Mo?

Lento (while drawing): Work in progress. Do not disturb.

(The Fatalists regularly checked on Lento for half a hour, until he finally stands up.)

Lento: Work done.

Warpman: Okay, just show us. *looks at the drawing*... Whoah ... I mean ...

Staccato: May I have a look? *looks too*... My soul is moved by such art.

(On the papersheet was an extremely accurate drawing of a gladiator arena, with Enker and Buster Rod fighting each other. Quint and Punk were already on the ground. Practically every robot of the Castle -Evil Eight, Warriors, Joes...- were gathered as spectators and cheering.)

Warpman: Okay, this is an awesome drawing and all, but how will that help us?

Riff: I may have the idea...

(Meanwhile, in the monastery...)

Karasû: Okay. Why do I have to do this?

Monk: You need to learn patience, grasshopper. Only when you've swept all the floors, you will get your dinner.

Karasû: Aren't you just too cheap to afford sweepers, actually?

Monk: And why do you think we have apprentices?

Karasû: ...

(Let's leave our winged friend to sweeping, and let's see what his teammates are up to.)

Riff: So, we have everything to start the construction. Lento and I will handle the structure. Warpman and Staccato, you got the cabling and electricity.

Warpman: As you wish, oh great and wise leader.

Staccato: How can I be of assistance, "ye-who-yells-at-the-stars"?

Warpman: ... Oh. Take this one wire, then. *points at a black wire*

Staccato: As you wish. *grabs it* And now?

Warpman: Just don't touch the other. It has 50,000 volts running.

Staccato: ... *faints*

Warpman: That's what you get for comparing me to that guy.

(That's rough.)

Warpman: I don't care.

(Back to the Raven!)

Karasû: *spinning plates on sticks* You're making me work on balance and equilibrium, isn't it?

Monk: Exactly. I also like this show.

Karasû: ...

Monk: *throws a ball* Catch!

(You know what happens next. A whole rain of plates.)

Monk: You must also learn about focus. Do it again!

Karasû: *sighs*

(I suppose the Fatal Five are done by now. Let's see them, okay?)


(Not at the Castle. The Marauder, maybe?)

Iga (playing Mario Kart): Just to know, Hunter, do you take note of whoever comes in the Marauder?

Hunter (playing too): Yeah. Why?

Shinobu (playing too): I believe we have intruders.

(Around them, the Fatalists are taking measures of the Mercs.)

Riff (disguised as a clerk): Don't mind us! We're tailors!

Hunter: Mmm? Go on, then.

(After a few minutes, the Wily-bots leave.)

Shinobu: Wait a minute ... we don't put clothes on our armors!

Hunter: *shrugs* I do have a scarf. And Naoshi has a cape.

Shinobu: Oh. Okay. *resumes playing*


Monk: Your training is done, Grasshopper. You are now a master of the ancient arts!

Karasû: I must thank you, Senseï. must take my leave now.

Monk (handing out a note): Not before you pay for the lodging and food!

Karasû: ... What?

Monk: I have a monastery to take care of, you know.

Karasû: Let me take this burden off your shoulders...

(After a few action-packed minutes, Karasû leaves a fuming crater.)

Karasû: As if I would pay for hot water and old planks.

(Finally, the whole Team meets back in Skull Castle.)

Riff: Good news, Karasû! Our last plan is set!

Karasû: Really? Excellent!

Warpman: We'll trap them Mercs in an electric-wired arena. It will release agressivity-enhancing fumes which will make them fight to death!

Karasû (raises his thumbs): Wonderful, companions!

Riff: But ...

Karasû (hands fall): What? You managed to screw THAT up?!

Lento: Budget: low. Small-scaled arena only was built.

Karasû: ... Great. Let me show you that I did not waste this time!

(Bolts gather all around the raven bot. A translucid circle appears in front of him, where he draws a pentacle before slamming his hand to the ground.)

Karasû: Phaos-ni, Dhar, Ulgu! Come to me, servants of the shadows!

(Fumes raise from the ground. In an ear-piercing shriek, something emerges from the ground in front of the Fatalists.)

Karasû: It is time someone better suited takes control of this team, Riff!

The Fatalists: ... *burst out laughing*

Karasû: ... What?

(It appears Karasû had only summoned small raven robots. Hard to take over with servants the size of a Metool.)

Karasû: But ... but ... *falls down and cries*

Warpman: Hey, we could use these garden gnomes and the arena, after all!

(A few days later, in the Castle's undergrounds...)

Sniper Joe: Go, Blackwing! You can beat him!

Woodman: Put him to the ground, Ironhelm!

(The Fatal Five have organized an underground fighting tournament, using their small ring.)

Staccato: Another bag of pennies coming in our pockets. I feel bad about this method.

Warpman: People love bets. *poking Karasû* Blackwing's down. Summon another one to replace him.

Karasû: My ... servants ... *cries*