Meet the Fatal Five

Written by Hunter-Chameleon (Quint)

(A new day starts calmly at the Marauder. Everyone is having a nice sleep – for now...)

(Our story begins in Kayorei’s room. She’s still sleeping. When...)

Hunter: (through a mic) Hem, testing. 1, 2. 1, 2. Do you hear me, all?

Kayorei: (slowly awakening) Hmm?

Hunter: WAKE UUUUUUUP!!!!!

Kayorei: Yeaargh! (falls of her bed)

Hunter: Okay, everyone. We need you right now in the Testing room.

(The exact same scene happened in the other rooms. Five angry Mercs are now heading to the Lab parts, with a wish to put Hunter’s head on a spike... Clever move, boy)

Iga: Told you, Hunter. Even the narrator agrees it was a bad idea.

Hunter: Meh. It was this, or waiting another hour.

(The doors opened, quickly followed by a blow of disparate projectiles, all aimed at our green Megaman look-alike)

Iga: (hidden behind a table) 0_0. Lucky, I was hiding.

Naoshi: (with a murderous expression) That takes care of Moron No.1...

Shinobu: (eyes glowing a fiery red) Give us a reason not to do the same with your head, Iga.

Iga: Hem, err, it’s some device we just finished, and... heheh... he got pretty excited about showing it to you. Could be interesting, he said.

Stardust: (kicks Hunter’s body) Better be a good one.

Hunter: (with a Screw Crusher blocked in his head) 1T \/\/4s t0 Re\/3r7 U5 b4cK To 0Ur I-IuI\/IaN f0rM5, y’5E3...

Falling Star: Oh. (throws his boxing gloves away). Mind to show us the way?

(They arrive in front of a shower-like machine, very similar to the one Wily used on the Mercs – see Epilogue 1)

Stardust: You tested it yet?

Hunter: (now with a heavily bandaged head) Once or twice, and it works both ways. Iga will show you.

Iga: Why me?

Naoshi: (poking Iga with his spear) Now.

Iga: (sighs) Alright. (walks in the machine). Activate Protocol A.

(The device now starts working, with lights flickering, and many flashes occurring. Then, it all stops, and a small monkey toy walks out.)

Iga: I feel weird.

Stardust, Kayorei, Shinobu, Falling star and Naoshi: Wow!

Hunter: I suppose you all want to give it a try?

(After a few minutes, our seven friends are switched back to their original bodies.)

Kayorei: Really cool. Now we can walk out incognito.

Shinobu: I admit it’s nice, but, next time you wake us up like this, Hunter, I’ll rip your head off.

Hunter: Okay, it was bad. But what about having a day-off?

Everyone: Yeah!

(Then, in town...)

Falling star: Okay, so no one will be afraid of us. What should we do?

Stardust: What about going to the movies? They rerun Forrest Gump!

Naoshi: Cool!

(Little did they know that someone was spying on them from a dark alley...)

“Raven”: Are you sure they are our targets?

“Sniper”: Almost. Now, if only you would give me these pictures the doctor gave us...

“Armored”: Ehhr...

“Sniper”: (sighs) What now?

“BigArm”: Looks like Mr Stupid forgot them.

“Knight”: I hereby claim that this way of act is dishonored for us.

“Sniper”: Oh, please, don’t start. Luckily no one has...

(Excuse me?)

“Sniper”: ...spotted us yet. Yeah, what do you want?

(Would you give me your names? It’s all pretty boring to go with that nicknames. Besides, think of the readers.)

“BigArm”: We have readers now?

“Armored”: Privacy of unit: violated.

“Sniper”: Okay, let’s present us!

Riff: My name’s Riff, and I’ll stuff you full of lead!

Warpman: You’ll get a time of pain, if you forget my name – Warpman!

Staccato: If thou are no man of honor, suffer the punishment of Staccato’s blades!

Karasû: A shadow in the night / Holder of the raven’s might / Karasû!

Lento: Unit Lento will kick your ass fast.

Riff: Together we form the...

The five of them: FATAL FIVE! (while striking an awesome, Sentaï-like group pose, and the Boss Theme playing)

(Wow. I mean... that’s cool and all, but your targets walked away.)

The Fatal Five: *All fall to the ground.*

Riff: Nevermind. As you heard, they’re going to see that movie.

Warpman: So?

Riff: We’ll trap them there!

(Later, at the exit doors of the “Golden Gun”, the closest movie theater...)

Karasû: Okay, that trap is finished.

Lento: Lento requiring explanation of device.

Riff: It’s all simple. Once the Mercs walk in here, they’ll activate the detectors, and unlock this small catapult, throwing acid right on them.

Staccato: It honestly is a piece of art, but my soul cries at thee display of treachery.

Warpman: Shut up.

Karasû: Here they come! Hide!

Hunter: Man, that was beautiful.

Iga: This calls for an ice-cream!

The Mercs: Yeah!

(At this time, they walked right into the Fatal Five’s detectors, and triggered... nothing.)

Karasû: (from a box) Something’s wrong.

(Four boxes get into said zone.)

Warpman: Not great, mighty leader.

Riff: Get lost, mutie. I see the problem.

Staccato: And what is it, sir?

Riff: One of the cables has been disconnected. Luckily, nothing wrong can happen, right?

Lento: (close to the catapult) Error: cable is disconnected. Lento will fix this.

Staccato, Warpman, Riff and Karasû: NoOOOoooo...!!!!! (get covered by acid. Poor guys.)

(Later, in the ice-cream store...)

Karasû: I doubt the seriousness of this plan.

Riff: (dressed as an ice-cream seller) It will work! We’ll make their seats explode while they’re eating ice-cream!

Kayorei: Excuse me, sir?

Staccato: (disguised, too) What could my honourous blade do for such a beautiful damsel like thee?

Kayorei: Err... Three banana-splits, two frozen oranges, a liégeois chocolate, and a peach melba, please.

Warpman and Lento: (bringing all of this to the Mercs’ table) Here you go, people.

Falling star: Thanks a lot, guys!

Riff: (spying on them from the backdoor) They started eating, and no explosion yet.

Warpman: Who was in charge of the bomb, again?

Staccato: ... Oops.

Karasû: What now?

Staccato: I mistakenly gave it to Lento.

(They all turn to Lento who is holding the bomb in his hand. Only 2 seconds before the explosion...)

Fatal Five: Run away!



Stardust: These guys really know how to make ice cream.

Shinobu: Sure. I still wonder why there was an explosion in their back room.

Hunter: (smiling) Maybe they were preparing a... frozen bomb?

The other Mercs: ...

Iga: Was it supposed to be a joke?

Hunter: Screw this. Let's head to the mall.

(Listening from a short distance, the Five prepare a new strategy. Don't give up, guys!)

Riff: Okay, so they'll separate once they are in this mall. At that time, we'll strike and beat them!

Karasû: Sounds good, for a change.

Riff: I already wrote down the strategies you'll use. *hands each of them a paper sheet*

Staccato: These methods are deeply confusing my thoughts, for it needs strange items. The way of the sword is much more successful.*warps*

Warpman: (wrecks his paper) Bah! I'll do it my way! *warps*

Karasû: Not my usual way, but I'll try. *warps*

Riff: You done, Lento?

Lento: Unit received blank sheet.

Riff: ...You're reading the back.

Lento: Oh.

(The Mercs separated in several groups. Let's follow them.)

Naoshi: Sweet! A new Bomberman!

Iga: And it has WiFi, too!

Staccato: (All I need to do is to charge at these foes, and make them feel the mighty wrath of my blades) Montjoie Saint-Denis! *charges head-first, but misses the Mercs. As he continues running, he runs out of the store and falls out of the gallery*

Iga: (watching) We're at the fourth floor, aren't we?

Naoshi: Ouch. I still wonder who that was.

(Another shop, other Mercs!)

Kayorei: Are you sure we need to buy a new computer already?

Shinobu: This one will be for checking the incomes and outcomes. You wouldn't believe how expensive it is to live in a battleship.

Karasû: (I'll throw this little toy, and it will be a piece of cake to care of those). Hah! *guess what? Smokebomb* Now, serious business! *inflames his staff, and charges his victims*

(There is something you forgot, guy: Do you have a way to see through the smoke?)

Karasû: Uh-oh. *Runs into one of the store's giant screens, and gets fried*

Kayorei: What was that?

Shinobu: I dunno. Some weird ad, I suppose.

(Let's see another tentative, shall we?)

Falling star: Hey, they released a new Star wars DVD!

Stardust: Meh. Star Trek's better.

Riff: Great. Nerd talk.

Lento: Lento will smash nerd Mercs!

Riff: 'Kay. So you stay here and shoot at them with that Tractor Beam, while I activate this meat-mincer! Ready?

Lento: Err...

Riff: Go!

Lento: Can't remember what to do! Must... charge!

Riff: Nooo! *hit by Lento, the two of them run in the meat-mincer. It hurts. A lot.*

Falling star: Wow.

Stardust: I didn't know they were doing ads for Saw 3 already.

(Hey, one of each group is remaining! Let's find out what's happening!)

Hunter: Camera systems... checked. Micros... checked. Now, to get this back home...

Warp Man: Need a hand, "Quint"?

Hunter: (turns back) What are you sayi... oh, sweet Miniguns! You are still alive?

Warp Man: The Doctor was very nice to me. Now that we're alone, I need to discuss some things with you... and I'll let my bombs speak for me! *shoots at Hunter*

Hunter: *dodges and runs away* Hell! Next time I see Wily, he'll suff... *trips*

Warp Man: *pointing his bomb launcher at Hunter's head* Any final words?

Hunter: Err... Yeah! When was the last time you checked your energy gauge?

Warp Man: ... Oops. *deactivates and falls on the ground*

Hunter: Luckily, he still has that glitch. *runs away with his goods*

(Back in the Marauder...)

Kayorei: That was a really fine day, don't you think?

Stardust: Indeed. We should thank Hunter for this.

Naoshi: look worried, Hunter.

Hunter: Me? Oh, it's nothing. Some old friend I met. Nothing to worry about.

Kayorei: But, didn't you tell me that...

Hunter: Nothing to worry about, I say! Now, step in so that we can switch back to our armors.

(This is how the day ends for the Mercs, but what about the Fatal Five?)

Riff: *all bandaged* A failure. A total failure.

Staccato: Alas, I incline to agree these were hard beginnings.

Karasû: At least, we know how our targets look like! We'll go and beat them another day!

Warp Man: Not so sure. I kinda feel down after these defeats.

Lento: Fatal Five not worthy of villain business.

(Come on, guys! You can't let the readers like this! We need you!)

Riff: Bah. Let them find other bad guys. We're not good at this.

(Only one thing to do now)

Karasû: Are you sure?


Karasû: Okay. Erm... OUENDAAAAAAN!!!!!

Ouendan Squad: *coming from nowhere* We're here to motivate you!

The Five minus Karasû: o_0

Ouendan Squad: *starts dancing and cheering the Five up*

Riff: It... it works! *surrounded by a burning aura*

Staccato: *with flames in his eyes* My soul is warmed by the blaze of a thousand suns!

Warp Man: Next time, we'll beat these Mercs!

The Fatal Five: *while striking an awesome pose* YEAH!

(So, everything goes fine for our two teams. See you next time, all!)


(PS: Play Ouendan. It's awesome.)

Mega Man and all related characters are property of Capcom. This is just fan-work here. Just acknowledging that this stuff isn't really ours.