Troubles in Town
Written by Hunter-Chameleon (Quint)
(Shortly after the events of “Enter: Marauder”, the Mercs are soon arrived to Megalopolis)
Hunter: I have good news, guys! We'll be arrived soon at Megalopolis!
Shinobu: Sounds great, but...How will we land?
Hunter: I knew I forgot something.
Stardust: We're gonna CRASH!
(And so, the Marauder hit the ground in quite a rude way. Luckily, it was out of the town, so no major buildings were damaged in the process. The statement doesn't truly apply to the battleship's residents, however.)
Falling star: Ouch...
Iga: Next time you drive that thing, Hunter, I want to see your license!
Hunter: *sighs* Anyways, (activates a screen on the main monitor), what are the damages to the boat?
Crew Joe (on the screen): Very minor, sir. However, some pieces will need a revision.
Hunter: You heard the bot, guys. We'll need to find a mechanic.
Iga: If I remember well, there's the right shop on Hoggan's Alley. We should go and have a look.
Stardust: Stop it now! I didn't escape death only to buy motor pieces! I want to have a day off!
Falling star: Same here!
Hunter: Oh, all right. Do what you want, but remember: I want all of you here at 7 o'clock. Right?
The other Mercs: Right!
Shinobu: But once we'll be out, anybody will be able to steal the ship. Someone must remain here and guard the boat.
Stardust: Yeah, but who?
(Before Stardust finished his sentence, everyone already left in a cloud of dust.)
Stardust: Son of a Maverick!
Hunter: According to this map, Hoggan's Alley is here...Gotta take the metro.
(But, at the ticket office...)
Hunter: Excuse me, sir. Could you sell me a ticket?
Employee: P-p-please, don't hurt me!
Hunter: (Poor boy is messed up...) But why would I do that?
Employee: You're a W-w-wily bot!
Hunter: Of course not! This is just a suit!
(While Hunter is trying to convince the frightened employee, Naoshi is wandering in the suburbs.)
Naoshi: I'm lost. But where the hell is the bookshop? (notices a citizen) Excuse me, madam, could you show me...?
Woman: Ahh! A Wily-bot! Save me! (runs away)
(As the woman was fleeing from Naoshi, a group of well-known robots heard the screams)
Darksage (Springman): Sounds like Wily is attacking again.
Briansfox (Slashman): It is our duty to go and help!
Shadowstrike (Turboman): Let's go! Drastic Measures, transform and roll out!
Metabad (Cloudman): There he is! Get him!
Naoshi: (In thought) Oh great... What did I get myself into?
(Back to the ship...)
Stardust: So, how does this security system work? Let's try this button...(presses a big, yellow-and-black striped button)
(Suddenly, all of the screens activate, randomly showing pictures of the interiors and surroundings of the Marauder, before exploding.)
Stardust: Oops. But I think I just saw Punk in one of the rooms. Gotta see.
(In the teleportation room, Shinobu was desperately trying to figure out how the system works. Sounds like he's in a hurry.)
Shinobu: Damn...I must be at work in 5 minutes! And that Wily man didn't put a proper notice!
Stardust (walks in): Need a hand, pal?
Shinobu: Why not. I need to get at this address in Washington DC. For work, y'know.
Stardust: Okay. Stand on the circle ...3...2...1...go!
(In a back-alley of Washington DC...)
<>Shinobu (warps in): Wow. That was quick. And now, to open the store...
(There was a malfunction in Wily's designs: when he transformed his “guinea pigs” into the Seven Mercenaries, he “disintegrated” their former bodies, including what they held in their pockets. It includes Shinobu's keys.)
Shinobu: Next time I meet the doctor, I won't be that friendly! And now, the quick way – Screw Crusher!
(The metallic boomerang wrecked the door, allowing the crimson juggernaut to enter.)
Shinobu: This will be retained on my wage, though.
(Back to town, with the remaining Mercs.)
Falling star: So, who's up for going to Henry's?
Kayorei: I'd like to, but I must go to the bank. See you guys!
Iga: Let's go, Mega.
(In the place...)
Henry: Hi there, people! What would you like to drink?
Falling star: Mmm...let's try some Oil Shaker.
Henry: You! How is it possible?
Iga: I don't understand what you mean, sir.
Henry: Well, how comes that Mega Water has Falling star's voice?
Falling star: Some trick of Wily. Anyway, now I can do cool things like...this! (shoots water from his hands, and generates a small fountain.)
Iga: Nice trick! And it looks like your drink is ready.
Falling star: Good. (gets to the bar).
(What a stupid mistake. I mean, Falling went and took his drink, but totally forgot the water, which splashes the closest customer.)
Golem Man (now wet): Who dare? (gets up and cracks his knuckles) Golem Man crush puny green robot!
Falling star: Bring it on!
Henry: (takes a gun from under his bar, and aims at the robotic behemoth) No one fights here! Do that outside!
Golem Man: (Must not mess with guy giving drinks...) Green robot and friend go out. Golem Man crush puny robots out of building.
(And shortly after, a good old-fashioned brawl took place in the street.)
(But meanwhile, in Megalopolis bank...)
Kayorei: So, I deposit this check on my account and get back to the ship. Nothing can go...
Bank manager: Please, anyone help us! Someone is stealing the money stored in the safe-room!
Kayorei: ...wrong. Let's go, then.
(But who was the thief? And how on Earth did he manage to get there without anyone noticing him?)
?: Hey, it's easy if you're...David Hasselhoff!
David Hasselhoff: And now, no more doors! *poof!*
(Thanks to his MS-Paint powers, the Hoff made the doors disappear...Yeah.)
David Hasselhoff: Up, up and away! Let's get hooked – on a feeling! *flies away*
Kayorei: Looks easy to do. I'll try!
(As Kayorei jumped, she crashed into Hasselhoff, and both flattened to the ground. Then the police comes in action.)
Police-Bot1: You're under arrest! Come without resistance, Mr Hasselhoff.
David Hasselhoff: Ouch...next time I meet you, blue bot, you'll get out of my car!
Police-Bot 2: Whatever...(to Kayorei): Thanks to your efforts, we caught the thief. You'll get a reward soon.
Kayorei: G...great. *faints*
(Back to saner stuff, with Hunter who managed to get into the metro.)
Hunter: Hoggan's Alley is that way. Let's go, then. (walks away)
Naoshi (running and yelling at the same time): AHHHHH!!!!!
Drastic Measures (still chasing him): Get back, Wily scum!
Naoshi (stops): Who're you calling Wily scum? Bring it on!
Metabad: Let's do it! (Creates a lightning bolt strike above Naoshi)
(Quickly, the Knight Merc generated his signature weapon, chanalizing his opponent's shots and shooting them back! One down, two more to go.)
Darksage: You sure look like a worthy opponent. Coil Rush!
(The Springing Master stretched his legs in order to charge at full speed Naoshi, only to meet head-first the Mirror Spear. Let me tell you it hurts a lot.)
Shadowstrike (staring at his fallen comrades): Uh-oh.
Naoshi: Okay, you're next! Spear Charge!
(The attack never hit. Before Naoshi could strike, two of the most formidable warriors the MM7 Team included blocked him!)
Seadragon76 (Junkman): Looks like you need a hand, pal.
Briansfox (Slashman): Yeah, and guess what? The others are here.
(In the shadows, our fellow Merc could distinguish the forms of the remaining Drastic Measures ... Freezeman, the cold-blooded robot ... Burstman, with a temper like his weapon - explosive- ... Shademan, creature of the night ... before the next assault, he could only mutter these famous last words):
Naoshi: Motherfragging snakes on a plane!
(That was random)
Naoshi: Try to find something good in this position.
(Well, it sounds interesting and all, but how is Shinobu doing in his shop? Let's find out!)
Customer: Anyone here? (knocks heavily on the counter) Hey! Hurry up!
Shinobu: (comes from he backroom) Yes?
Customer: Err...well, it's...err...
Shinobu: Explain, please.
Customer: It's...well, a problem with this game system...
Shinobu: Let me see this...(after a few tests) Nope, maybe it was just a wrong manipulation. Do you want something else? A game, maybe?
Customer: Yeah! G-good idea! (picks up the first game he finds) This one!
Shinobu: Are you sure?
Customer: Sure! And keep the change! (runs out of the shop)
Shop manager: Good job, Shinobu! Thanks to you, we managed to sell every of those Barbie games. Nice cosplay suit, by the way.
Shinobu (a bit confused): Er? That's not a cosplay.
(Later, in Hoggan's Alley...)
Hunter (leaving the shop): You'll deliver the components tomorrow morning? Good! See you, then!
Hunter: Now, back to the ship! (warps) Time to call the others.
(As the remaining Mercs received the message, they instantly warped to the Marauder's entrance, in more or less damaged armors)
Shinobu: Everyone here? Good.
Falling star (sounding a bit worried): Let's hurry in, then! I need to rest!
Iga (noticing Naoshi's damaged armor, and his black eye): Looks like you suffered, pal.
Naoshi: Drastic Measures fell on me like a ton of bricks. Then, they made a ton of bricks fall on me.
Naoshi: Let's say Cloudman's shots can be random.
(But, as the ship's main door opened, a thick black smoke came out.)
Stardust (from the ship's entrance): Eh, hi. I wanted to drink some orange juice, but the fridge went kinda boom. And the whole kitchen, as a matter of fact.
Iga: Oh. How will we afford to repair this?
Kayorei (takes out a huge money bag): Guess I have the solution.
(Later, in the ship's restroom)
Hunter: Man, that was quite a day! But I'm pretty sure everyone learned something! So, who wants to begin?
Naoshi: Never mess with Drastic Measures. They're really dangerous.
Kayorei: You can't do the things singers do in their clips without an efficient training.
Shinobu: Talking with customers is easier when you're a 3-meter tall robot.
Falling star: Pay attention to what you're doing, or it ends up with a fight.
Iga: Golem Man is one strong dude. I'll have to eat soup for a while...(rubs his jaw)
Crew Joe: And never leave Mr Hyper Storm alone anymore! He almost managed to blow the ship up!
(True. and, also, I'm not paid enough for this! Seriously, David Hasselhoff. What will it be next time? Walking plants?)
Hunter: You forget something.
(What? Oh yeah.)
Credits: Golem Man is made by the people of Mechanical Maniacs.